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  Society 
18 of September, 10:19

How to become a good conversationalist
At first everything seemed fine - you were just talking, but then she abruptly retired, and you do not understand what it involves.

This common problem is often ignored, because it is not very obvious. People lips are moving, words are spoken, but something was missing.

Many of the social signals associated with communication that are not verbal, so if you don't pay attention to them, then the other person will feel that he is being heard. Yes, you hear words but you don't understand what they say.

the <h2>Communication is always the words.</h2>

Most of our posts consist of other unconscious signals. Our brain tends to perceive these signals without any conscious effort on our part.

Usually we feel that something is wrong, when changing mood of the interlocutor. We have all likely been in situations where at first everything was fine with someone, and then you hit the cold wall of alienation.

Studies have shown that only 7 percent of communication is based on the actual words we speak. As for the other indicators, 38 percent is tone of voice and the remaining 55 percent is body language.

The problem occurs for some people who do not take all the signals they send. As in life, some people see better than they say.

Many of us have to train to see and listen once they realize the gap in their social sensitivity.

the <h2>Emotional intelligence is the basis of sensitivity.</h2>

The sensitivity can be trained, like any skill. Basically, the idea is to learn how to read physical signals from other people. To pay attention to empathy is also important. How would you feel in their place?

Emotional intelligence is a flexible set of skills that you can acquire and improve with practice. It requires a conscious effort. In other words, we have to try. Instead of holding normal conversations, it is important to understand what happens to communication when people watching.

Our emotional intelligence directly affects how we are sensitive to others. It allows us to read social situations, people and even ourselves.

the <h2>Understanding yourself is the first step to understanding others.</h2>

The first step in preparing your consciousness to enhance sensitivity to others, is understanding yourself. It's amazing to see how many people don't know that they communicate by using nonverbal cues.

Many people suffering from depression, social anxiety or shyness, you can improve your mood, aware of your body language. The same unconscious signals that they are projecting on others, may adversely affect their own mood.

How we use body language is not just a projection of our senses, it also affects our feelings.

To begin to understand yourself, pay attention to the link between your body language and emotions.

What happens when you feel insecure in the society? Most people put them in pockets. Many people nervous. Frequent shallow breathing usually accompanies the excitement.

Do exercise. When you feel positive or negative emotion, how your body reacts? Smile, clenched fist, tight jaw zamknutaya or look in the ground will always relate to your feeling. Pause when you feel a particular emotion and see what your body does in response

The formation of identity will not only help to improve your emotional sensitivity, but will also give you the opportunity to change their emotions.

the <h2>Watch, watch, watch.</h2>

Now that you understand something about yourself, start to pay attention to others. How people react to you when you speak about certain things?

I would not suggest this, but if you ever been at a table where someone raised the topic of politics, at once easy to see the changing mood of the audience.

Based on your own observations you can tell a lot about the feelings of other people. His fist is jammed? This probably indicates stress. Hands in pockets? Perhaps she felt insecure. If you have experienced this yourself, you will be able to see these manifestations in other people. Compare his own observations with the behavior of other people.

If someone says, set aside your phone, don't use social networks, do not write or read letters to yourself to devote your full attention to the speaker. Sometimes emotional numbness doesn't mean you can't read the signals, it just means that you're not set.

Distractions can negatively affect our relationship. I'm personally not even going to say if someone looks at your phone. Usually a sharp silence will attract the attention of the interlocutor.

the <h2>Listen to understand, not reply.</h2>

Just as a distraction is a bad influence on the contact, waiting for a reaction also blocks true relationship. It's hard to really understand what it feels to someone else when we're just waiting again to start talking.

Try this exercise to develop listening skills. This is a colloquial method, which I call the snowball technique. Not only will you experience deeper levels of communication, but also be able to continue the conversation. Will be no more awkward silences.

Note - when many people don't know what to say. Paying attention you will learn many different facts about things, events and people, which could become the subject of conversation.

Change their wording. No matter what they say, take the main idea and summarize in their own words to them. Not only will you show that you listen, and better understand his words.

Add your opinion on their topic, Now that you rephrased your point, add your opinion. This will make communication a conversation rather than just question and answer.

Dig deeper - you have understanding of his point of view, now dig deeper. This is a real opportunity to get to know someone's true feelings, motives and interest. It also creates some vulnerability. This vulnerability creates trust and a deeper sense of connection because we feel a connection with those who are open.

Recall that you can dry out in the topic of conversation, but if you pay attention during a conversation, you can recall the moment that the interlocutor has said previously and to reiterate it. Even better if it relates to the last topic, but this is optional. Remembering that your friend told 5 minutes ago, will surprise most people, demonstrating excellent listening skills and an interest in what they say.

the <h2>Give conscious attention to small signals.</h2>

In General, attracting conscious attention to social sensitivity, you uviditj the signals that draw the big picture.

Start with understanding yourself and pay more attention to what people say and do. Then again, you're unlikely to run into problems of sensitivity.

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