Friendship with former - to the extent this is normal, and does that close relationship to a new relationship?
If there is a "connecting link"
Friendship, which is supported by the former pair, natural only in that case, if these people have any kind of relationship after breaking up, for example, baby or General business, an expert in psychology.
In the first instance to ex jealous ladies who suspect their representatives of the stronger sex in the change, and the emotions women often have partners hard ultimatums. It is sometimes adequately, as assertive actions to achieve result only from weak guys, accustomed to obey. Common representative of the stronger sex will be dissatisfied with your requirements.
The psychologist agrees that sometimes the reason for the jealousy is real: if a couple was once associated strong feelings, then, are not excluded, they are not completely extinguished. And looking at the baby, the representative of the stronger sex still thinks about his former wife. Another thing, when a woman is in a new relationship, or in the family never had special love - there is no reason for concern.
"Fighting" with a rival, don't limit a man strictly because he still can't stop seeing the child or to keep your former spouse business. Proceed gently: to cry, to yearn, even to Express their own concerns. Can, again in a soft form to offer an alternative. For example, not to go to an ex to get her in the house to communicate with the child and take the baby for a weekend to himself.
New of the fairer sex should be armed and try to "replay" the former, if the representative of the stronger sex are still not indifferent to her. Carefully should know the chosen one that he liked in past relationships and what he lacked. Then to try and give the partner everything he needs: care, attention, sex, etc.
When nothing connects
If "link" is not, and the representative of the stronger sex still often communicates with the former, or even former flames, saying that after breaking up stayed in a superior relationship, this is cause for concern.
"Such a man cannot even be called a man in the traditional perception. This man is Baba, he is everybody's best friend. Or is a womanizer, and you to him - another passing option. With the big share of probability it is possible to say, that this representative of the stronger sex is not just seen with the former, and meets them for sex," - said Kuznetsov.
If the representative of the stronger sex is not on friendly terms with all the former, and with only one lady, this relationship is still unnatural.
"If this planet has no ties, what good is it to maintain relationships? To consult, talk about your own personal life? How, then, to look into the eyes current passion?" - continues the psychologist.
The psychologist explains that pure friendship between former does not happen, it is always founded on something, or even warm feelings, or the benefits under which are not necessarily something material. For example, the representative of the stronger sex like to communicate with the former, for the following reasons it affects him soothingly. But then another question arises, why your partner is looking for a calm not you, but the previous passion.
The verdict of a specialist in psychology is that communication with the former, when between them there is no "link", not normal. And we should fight it.
First of all, the new young woman you must know for what purpose the representative of the stronger sex is Dating former. Meticulous, without unnecessary emotions, several times, "coming" from different angles, ask the same question. Between issues will take some time. If the representative of the stronger sex constantly gives the same answer, then his current woman needs to think why she can't give to his own elect that he gives the former. We should try to fix the situation.
If the answers are different, then the representative of the stronger sex, right, you are cheating. And, probably, his meeting with the former have a sexual undertone.
You can also call the straight man in the dialogue and to explain to him that you unpleasant its communication with the former. Likely that your partner even innocently did not know and for you will break with its own past.
The Internet doesn't count?
Often communication with the former happens on the Internet. Often representatives of the stronger sex on a lady voiced new complaints about this matter, asking not to make mountains out of molehills, because "it's just Online".
Here an extremely narrow margin, and the situation may be different, says a specialist in psychology. She is convinced that if the representative of the stronger sex likes his own fairer sex, it won't hurt her. Or if he sees that the current girl jealous, I will try to clarify the situation. Demonstrate the conversation it is obvious that with the former they communicate very rarely, just congratulate each other on a holiday, for example.
Another thing that the representative of the stronger sex has disproved everything, and he disappears in the evenings on the Web, and chat with the former is quite dense. And let it is not real, but virtual relationship, emotionally he was still with the other. With the real lady he may be, for example, for a bed or "pots".
"Sounds curious, but in this case this lady turns out to be even less advantageous situation than the virtual, which the representative of the stronger sex lives internally and shares the emotions. If the representative of the stronger sex does it mean he is bored with his new woman. He does not receive what it receives from the previous lady," said the psychologist.
A new young woman needed more time to consider his own man, to first displace and then replace the virtual friend as an interesting communication is unique. Just do not use do not under any circumstances assertive strategy, if we are talking about a normal man and not infantile. Stiffness can simply lead to rupture, for the following reasons your partner is already preferred in terms of communication other lady. And if the fairer sex are less interesting in this respect, puts its own terms, the man obosralsja and says, "Not by hysterical, not invent what is not there" meaning he already puts blockers. If the fairer sex continues to beat in a locked door, she is faced with even greater anger.