Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Item of the Day: Heidi Montag, late of The Hills and plastic surgeon`s table, wants to be in a shark move. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie where her tits are in 3D, not necessarily the shark. Wants to be in a 3D shark movie where her tits are in 3D, not necessarily the shark...that she wrote herself.

God bless both Syfy and People magazine for the following: One of the characters Montag wants to play is "a lifeguard named Summer" in a script she wrote herself. "I am making the first 3D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3D boobs," Montag says. "I`ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!" And while that project has yet to be greenlit, Montag is as confident as ever that she?ll make a splash in the film industry. Says Montag, "I?m now finally free to start my career and my new life as female mogul in Hollywood!"
sections: Celebrities