Andrew Cowles agreed for the ashes of the late Boyzone singer - who died of natural causes in October - to be flown to his mother in Ireland but admits he takes comfort in still taking part in some of the rituals they shared together. He said: "The family asked if his mother could have his ashes as she was having a very tough time. "I was getting no comfort from them. I thought if anything could alleviate some pain for her┘ In the end, I can`t have him back and having his ashes isn`t him. "I do still always kiss Stephen goodnight. But it`s tough when you don`t get the, `I love you` back.` " The 32-year-old internet entrepreneur is still struggling to come to terms with the death of Stephen - who he was in a relationship with for almost seven years - and often finds himself getting angry over his loss. He explained in an interview with the Daily Mirror newspaper: "I have found myself cussing him, just a few times, for leaving me. It`s not fair because he didn`t have a choice." However, Andrew takes comfort in knowing that Stephen was content when he passed away. He added: "The night he died, we`d had such a good time, a lovely evening in his favourite restaurant. He was the most happy and confident he`d been in his life and he`d just finished his book. "He died under my arm, curled up on the sofa and it was a good few hours before I realised he wasn`t sleeping. "I do get some comfort from knowing how happy he was that day."