When relations between a parent and an adult child become strained, some families maintain contact while others stop communicating entirely. A new study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology sheds light on how personality traits are linked to the likelihood of a breakup. Scientists found that among people already experiencing family tension, more extraverted parents more often end up in a situation where their adult child stops communicating with them. At the same time, adult children with high openness to experience (curiosity and mental flexibility) less often initiate a complete break.
A parent-child breakup is a situation in which one of the parties deliberately reduces or completely stops contact. It is estimated that 6% to 28% of people face this at least once in their lives. Previously, scientists mainly looked for causes in severe life shocks - childhood abuse, parental divorce or substance abuse. However, even under similar circumstances, some families maintain a fragile connection while others fall apart. The authors of the new work suggested that basic personality traits may play a key role.
The study used the five-factor model of personality - a popular psychological concept that describes a person along five main parameters: extraversion (sociability and assertiveness), agreeableness (warmth and willingness to cooperate), conscientiousness (self-discipline and organization), neuroticism (sensitivity to stress and a tendency toward negative emotions) and openness to experience (curiosity and flexibility of thinking).
The survey involved 520 US residents from different families: 368 parents (average age 60, 95% white, 93% women) and 152 adult children (average age 39, 82% white, 87% women). All of them were members of an online support community for people experiencing estrangement from relatives. Participants reported how often they see each other in person and communicate by phone or messaging. Those who had contact once a year or less were classified as having broken off the relationship. Among parents, 48% fell into this category; among adult children, 35%.
After accounting for demographic factors, it turned out that parents with higher extraversion scores had a 79% higher probability of a breakup initiated by the child. Moreover, the link was mainly due to the sub-trait "enthusiasm" - each point on it raised the chances by 57%. Assertiveness, the second component of extraversion, did not play a statistically significant role. Among adult children, the only significant trait was openness to experience: each point on it reduced the probability of a breakup by 78%. Two of its aspects - intellect (a pull toward abstract ideas) and openness proper (receptivity to emotions and new views) - reduced the chances by 60% and 57%, respectively.
The authors suggest that highly energetic and enthusiastic parents may need frequent and emotionally intense contact, which an adult child in strained relations perceives as pressure and a violation of personal boundaries. And children open to experience probably have greater flexibility and tolerance for different values, which helps them avoid breaking off the relationship because of ideological disagreements.
The study has limitations. The data were collected at a single point in time, so it cannot be asserted that personality traits cause a breakup: the breakup itself could have changed self-perception. In addition, parents and children were from different families, which does not allow seeing how their characters interact. The sample was predominantly white, female and heterosexual, and the participants were members of a single online community, which reduces the generalizability of the results. The scientists emphasize that the conclusions are preliminary, and the links found in the study do not prove cause-and-effect relationships.